Last week I stood in front of a room full of people to celebrate ten years of Authentically Speaking.
It felt significant. Not because of the anniversary itself, but because of what those ten years have taught me.
When I first began this work, people weren’t talking openly about burnout, trauma, ADHD, grief, caring responsibilities, perimenopause or psychological safety. They certainly weren’t talking about them in law firms or boardrooms.
Today those conversations are happening more often, but I still think we’re asking the wrong question.
We spend so much time asking people how to thrive that we rarely stop to ask what they’re carrying, and this was the purpose of The Load We Carry.
It wasn’t a wellbeing event.
At least, not in the traditional sense.
There were no productivity hacks, no five-step plans to becoming more resilient, no pressure to leave feeling inspired or transformed.
Instead, I wanted to create something much simpler, and, I think, much more powerful. A space where people could stop pretending they were coping.
Because behind so much professional success sits an invisible weight that rarely makes it onto a CV.
Grief.
Caring responsibilities.
Neurodiversity.
Financial pressure.
Discrimination.
Trauma.
Perimenopause.
Fertility journeys.
Mental load.
The constant feeling of having to prove that you belong.
We often only see the polished version of someone’s career, we almost never see what it has cost them to build it.
Making the invisible visible
One of the themes running throughout the day was how much of people’s lives remains hidden at work.
Sana Saddique, bravely discussed:
“What does it cost to keep proving you belong? To challenge assumptions? To carry family expectations while building a successful career?”
Her story reminded us that achievement and struggle often exist side by side.
Lisa Turner spoke powerfully about coercive control and the invisible ways people can lose themselves.
Amy Lane shared her entrepreneurial journey alongside the reality of fertility and family, encouraging us to replace questions like “Do you have children?” with something much more human like “What does home life look like for you?”
Rebecca Robertson explored something we rarely acknowledge as part of wellbeing: financial independence and the mental load that comes with money.
Every conversation expanded our understanding of what people might be carrying long before it affects their performance.
Psychological safety starts long before people enter the room
One of the nicest comments I received wasn’t actually about the speakers.
It was about the venue map. Before the event, we sent photographs showing exactly which entrance to use and what people could expect when they arrived. Someone posted afterwards that this dramatically reduced their anxiety.
That made me smile because it perfectly captures what psychological safety really means. It’s rarely about grand gestures, but about thoughtful ones.
The room itself reflected that philosophy too, I deliberately threw out the traditional speaking rulebook, no awkward networking exercises, no asking everyone to turn to the person next to them, no endless requests to put hands up.
Instead, I trusted that if people felt safe enough, the conversations would happen naturally, and they did.
Perhaps resilience isn’t the answer
For years we’ve told people they need to become more resilient.
But increasingly I think resilience has become a way of asking individuals to carry problems that organisations helped create.
What if the answer isn’t asking people to carry more?
What if it’s helping them carry less?
That is the heart of sustainable high performance, not squeezing more productivity out of exhausted people, not encouraging them to meditate so they can tolerate impossible workloads, nor teaching them to cope better with unhealthy systems.
But creating workplaces where people can actually sustain the future we’re asking them to build.
Surviving before thriving
Amy Lane reflected afterwards that sometimes you have to survive before you can truly thrive.
I think that’s exactly right.
You can’t optimise a nervous system that’s permanently in survival mode. You can’t innovate when you’re overwhelmed. You can’t lead well if you’re running on empty.
Before we ask people to flourish, we have to acknowledge what they’re carrying.
Perhaps thriving isn’t where the conversation begins.
Perhaps it begins with honesty.
With compassion. With creating spaces where people no longer have to pretend they’re fine.
Because when someone no longer feels they have to carry everything alone…
That’s often the moment thriving becomes possible.
Thank you to everyone who took part from our excellent speakers to the people who trusted us enough to join us on the today.
The Load We Carry marked ten years of Authentically Speaking.
Looking back, I’m more convinced than ever that sustainable high performance isn’t about asking people to become endlessly resilient.
It’s about creating cultures where people can succeed without sacrificing their wellbeing.
If that’s a conversation your organisation is ready to have, I’d love to help, feel free to contact me on hannah@authenticallyspeaking.co.uk or through LinkedIn.