There is a moment many lawyers experience after returning from maternity leave that rarely gets spoken about openly.
From the outside, everything looks as though work life it has simply resumed.
You return to work.
Your role is still there (maybe the same, maybe a little different than before).
Your title is the same (maybe, maybe something changed with or without your knowledge and agreement).
But internally, something has shifted.
You have changed too.
You may look around and realise your peers have moved ahead.
They’ve taken on new projects, stepped into bigger roles, met with more clients, or built momentum in ways that feel difficult to recreate.
And quietly, a thought begins to form.
Will I ever catch up? Am I falling behind?
For many professional women (and I’d add parents where men have taken extended paternity leave) this moment can bring a subtle but persistent sense of career uncertainty.
Not because capability has changed.
But because life has.
When life complexity expands
For many returning parents, maternity (or extended paternity) leave doesn’t simply mark a pause in work.
It marks the beginning of a far more complex phase of life.
Young children who need you in ways that are joyful, exhausting, and all-consuming.
Family responsibilities that may include caring for ageing parents.
The mental load of managing multiple people’s needs at once.
And alongside all of this, the quiet desire to continue building a meaningful and fulfilling career.
These realities often exist simultaneously.
But professional environments don’t always know how to hold that complexity.
So people carry it quietly.
The missed leadership skills of this season
One of the things I often observe in professionals navigating this stage of life is something quite remarkable.
They are developing extraordinary leadership capacities. Not through formal training programmes or leadership courses.
But through life.
The ability to make decisions with limited information. To manage competing priorities that all feel urgent. To remain calm when multiple demands collide. To navigate emotional dynamics and uncertainty.
These are not minor skills.
They are core leadership capabilities.
And yet many professionals returning from maternity leave feel as though they have somehow fallen behind.
In reality, their leadership capacity may be expanding in ways that are simply less visible on a CV.
The fear of the “wrong next move”
Another tension that often arises at this stage is the pressure to make the right next career decision.
When your time, energy and flexibility are limited, the stakes can feel higher. Taking another permanent role and discovering it isn’t sustainable can feel risky.
Some professionals begin exploring alternatives:
Consulting.
Portfolio careers.
Flexible or part time roles.
Project-based work.
Leaving law…
Not because they lack ambition.
But because they are trying to design a career that can realistically coexist with their lives.
This isn’t a lack of commitment to the profession. If anything, it often reflects a deeper commitment to building a career that is sustainable in the long term.
Rethinking the meaning of “progress”
One of the most important shifts we may need to make both individually and culturally, is how we define career progress.
Traditional career models assume a steady upward trajectory with Linear promotions, increasing responsibility and few “gaps” or interruptions.
But many modern careers simply don’t look like that anymore.
Life happens. Families grow. Care responsibilities emerge. Priorities shift.
Progress may pause, slow, or change direction for a time, but that doesn’t mean a career has stalled.
Often, it simply means the path is becoming more human.
A different question to ask
Instead of asking:
“How do I catch up?”
It may sometimes be more helpful to ask:
“What kind of career will genuinely work for this stage of my life?”
A career that allows you to continue growing, to use your experience and expertise (both in a law firm and outside of it), to lead and contribute meaningfully.
But without requiring the quiet, unsustainable levels of pressure that many professionals have been absorbing for years.
This question doesn’t always produce simple answers.
But it often opens up more thoughtful possibilities.
A leadership conversation we need to have
These experiences are not individual anomalies, they are increasingly common.
We will also see more of parents taking breaks or needing more support as they navigate older children for example facing neurodiversity challenges in education. Something I’ve battled first hand for the last 5 years, with two more to settle into high school before I can sign off from that particular worry.
The sandwich, carer generation is growing.
All of this means the conversation is not simply about individual career choices, it is also about leadership and culture.
What would it look like if professional environments recognised that careers unfold alongside real lives? If leadership potential wasn’t measured purely by uninterrupted trajectories but by life experiences that shape great (and human centered) leaders.
If ambition and care responsibilities were not treated as incompatible?
These are the kinds of questions the legal profession and many others, will increasingly need to explore.
Because sustainable careers require more than resilience, they require systems and cultures that recognise the full complexity of the people within them. The Authentic Lawyer.
A final reflection
If you’re navigating this stage of your career, you might ask yourself (kindly and with a cup of tea perhaps):
- What do I really need from my current or my next role to make life feel more sustainable right now?
- Which parts of my experience have strengthened me in ways I may be overlooking, disregarding or downplaying?
- What might progress look like if it didn’t feel I had to follow a traditional path?
Sometimes clarity comes not from forcing a decision quickly, but from creating enough space to think more honestly about what’s possible.
This isn’t about stepping back, or stepping out necessarily, but about the right next steps for each of us at this stage of life and career.
If you’d like to have a chat about your best next steps, the skills and experience you might be overlooking, or anything along these lines, please do get in touch with me at Hannah@authenticallyspeaking.co.uk or book a chat directly here https://authenticallyspeaking.co.uk/book-a-call
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